Song of Solomon 8:4,

4. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.

Men and women are different creatures. We prioritize differently, often care about different things, and generally speaking, function and fluctuate between what matters most and least, differently.

The fact is, many men, especially men of the world, who know not the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, can quite happily live without a meaningful, committed relationship. They are content to “drink the milk for free” from as many as will so share it.

Women, whether saved or not, tend to be different. I realize I am being general here, and yes, if you want to find exceptions, they can be found. But let’s be honest, most young women of today, from the time they are children, dream a dream about meeting the perfect man, a Prince Charming, who will sweep them off their feet, not just for a good time, but for a lasting, ’til death do us part covenant made before God and man.

Some women plan their wedding day a decade or more in advance. It is the joy of a woman to want to be a mother, have a family, make a home, and live the rest of her days secure in the love that such a blissful situation brings.

Hold that thought.

Ever had that dream crushed?

Too many women today do not know how to or don’t seem interested in, heeding the strong admonition shared above: Do not stir up nor awake the love of a man before the time is right.

It is absolutely essential, especially in today’s world, that a young woman of God learn how to patiently wait on the Lord (See Psalm 27:14).

I know how bad the world is these days. I recognize the temptations out there. They afflict me too, sometimes. But know this: after making a saving commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, who you give your life to in marriage is the most important, life affirming, or life destroying decision you can make. It matters more than having children. As a parent who knows that one day, my own children will grow up, move away, make families of their own, and have their own life, purpose, and calling, I can say with confidence that my spouse, after Christ, is the most important person in my life and will continue to be so ’til death do us part.

This is true for all, not just me. So ask yourself, young lady: what about that man makes you want to compare gray hairs forty years into your future? ‘Cause, trust me, the looks are going to go, eventually. What is it that matters most?

Too many young women of today, even Spirit-filled, are settling for second best. Sometimes even third, fourth, or sixteenth best, when God, if they had but waited for Him to make His move, would have given them the most glorious husband this life has to offer.

What am I getting at? Just this: By the time a young female saint is in her late teens, heading toward adult maturity, she is (usually) already thinking about marriage. She sees older sisters or aunts having children, becoming the favorite aunt herself, and bam! Her God given “clock” as it’s often called, turns on in earnest.

And then, wouldn’t you know it, because of her modesty, anointing, shame-facedness, and all around Light of the World glow that her faith in the Son of God gives her, some busta’ aroused for the wrong reasons crowds in to make his play.

He may look the part. He may act the part. He may have “good intentions”, and all that. But that doesn’t make him right for you. The only man who is right for such a Daughter of Zion is the one God chooses for her.

My dear little sisters in the Lord, you must learn to wait.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8,

1. Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.

2. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus.

3. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

4. That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

5. Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

6. That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

7. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

8. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.

This passage of Scripture is key. While so much of it seems to be obvious no-brainer material, I want to focus on verse 6, and draw out the deeper meaning.

Where we have the phrase “go beyond”, you must understand from the Greek it means to transgress by overstepping proper limits. Defraud means to take advantage of someone, i.e. to over-reach, which basically means to break a moral boundary regarding what is and is not acceptable to God.

Now this verse makes better sense, doesn’t it? At first it doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of the content, but when understood to mean that no one should overstep proper moral boundaries in order to take advantage of a believer (in anything/matter, especially related to sexual intimacy), we understand that when a young man puts the moves on a child of God, tempting her and pushing her to break her covenant with her Creator, he is breaking this commandment, and yes, Jesus Christ will avenge Himself on any who mess with members of the Church this way. Such “moves” as it were, are not acts of true love. Rather, they prove that such a man actually despises her, but not just her. He actually despises her God and Savior.

So, what should be done? Wisdom is always key, isn’t it? Check Proverbs 18:22.

22. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

A wife should be found or discovered by a courageous, holy man of God who, under the direction of the Spirit, realizes God’s plan for his life and calling is to be married. But guess what? That courageous holy man of God (you know, the one your soul righteously desires) is never going to find you if he doesn’t find you WAITING.

If you’re off chasing some other “dream” (read: nightmare), thinking whatever is in front of you must be worth settling for, you’re going to miss out.

Don’t do it. Instead, heed Song of Solomon’s command: Don’t stir up or wake emotional feelings of love until the man God has chosen for you is ready to come and find you. Until then, be patient, possess your vessel in honor and sanctification, trust God, please God, and know that if you delight yourself in the Lord, God Himself will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

A Personal Account

When my wife and I were first courting/dating, we waited on everything for everything. Our love was bound up in words from the heart, not actions of the body. I tell you the truth, my wife is my witness, that we did not kiss, hug, or even hold hands the entire duration of our courtship. Even as we stood before the altar, not yet legally married, Sarah and I, instead of holding hands, held a Bible between us. Our first intimate touch occurred on June 16th, 2007, the moment we were pronounced husband and wife and I was allowed by God and the man of God, to kiss the bride.

The bottom-line is, we waited. WE WAITED! Oh how special it was to have waited. How important it was! What a great witness and testimony we now have before others, that we can share, to encourage and uplift and show the world and the Church that it’s possible, with God all things are possible. You really can possess your vessel in honor and sanctification. You can, with the power of the Holy Spirit, resist every temptation, overcome every personal weakness, and know that you have saved yourself for the very one your Maker chose for you to marry.

Hold tight, little sisters, to the hand of the Lord, and wait for Him to walk you down that aisle and give you away.


~ by votivesoul on 02/27/2013.

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Always seeking to know God more

Theo-sophical Ruminations

A collage of theological and philosophical musings

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